So for those of you who do not yet know, or have not yet guessed. I am pregnant, my due date by LMP is February 1st, and by ultrasound is February 8th. I forgot to ask the doctor which one we would use.
I had my first OB appointment last week. It was nice to see the OB and his staff again. They are like friends at this point. Actually when Dr. Wheeler saw me he said "At it again? This is great. You're like an annuity!"
My ultrasound showed a healthy baby with a strong heart beat. It also showed that there was a second baby, without a heartbeat who appeared to have stopped developing. There is about a 1% chance that the second baby will survive (it could just be slightly younger gestationally and the heartbeat not yet discernible). So it is fair to assume that I will only have one baby, and I am deeply grieved for the loss of its twin. But I continue to pray hard for the second baby and barely allow myself to hope.
I have been a mopey mess for the last week since the appointment. But Paul was able to make me giggle a little yesterday when I was snacking and he said "You're eating for 2, plus Shroedinger's Cat".
I think my emotions are compounded by a sort of guilty feeling. Like maybe if I had done things differently then the baby would be okay. And then the fact the I didn't particularly want twins, and feel incapable of handling them. It's strange I don't want twins, but I do now because I want both of my babies.
My next ultrasound is July 16th. Which seems like ages away. But by then it will be obvious.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I'll be praying for you, babies, and family. Sometimes I think the not knowing of the old days would be better in terms of twin loss, but then you would never know you have an angel watching over you.
peace and love, -Manda.
Congrats on your pregnancy!! Prayers for you in this really tough situation. I can't imagine how emotionally trying it must be.
Wow, you are going to have a crazy middle of July! I look forward to hearing the news when I see you in person!
If you'd like, I can keep giving you wedding updates to distract you until then.
Wow! We are so excited about your news, and we will be praying for BOTH babies and for mom.
We are praying for God's help with however this turns out...
I think that you shouldn't go by the LMP date or the ultrasound date. You should go by the sister-in-law's guess of February 2. Then Paul would have one less extra date to remember (since his mother was also born on February 2)
-Aunt Cheryl and Uncle James
Post a Comment