When I was growing up, a very nice lady named Lucy Carbaugh lived in the house two doors down from us. (Do all neighborhoods have a nice little old lady, or is that just a stereotype?) Anyway, we liked to go and visit Lucy from time to time. She would feed us cookies or other snacks. Especially, she was known for her zucchini bread, which we all loved, until you told us it had zucchini in it.
Sometimes when we would go to visit Lucy, she would be babysitting her grandsons Jason and Jonathan. Jason was one year older than me. He seemed like a nice kid, and as far as I can remember he was pretty much normal. Sometimes we played together.
But Jonathan was not a "normal" little boy. He suffered from Cerebral Palsy. He mostly seemed to be a sweet little boy. But he couldn't physically do much, and he couldn't really communicate well. When he got a little older, he was able to use a computer, and that helped. The adults around us always said that Jonathan was smart. I never believed them. I guess because he seemed like such a little kid, I never thought it was possible that he could be intelligent. I believe them now.
I wish I could say that I had played with Jonathan, and that I had spent time getting to know him. I wish that I could be counted as one of his friends. What a blessed opportunity it would have been for me to have the chance to know someone who was trapped in their own body like that.
But no, mostly we avoided or ignored him. We didn't make fun of him, we just didn't bother him.
I hadn't thought about Jonathan Carbaugh in years, probably since I graduated from high school. He didn't cross my mind at all... Until I heard that he had passed away.
He passed away Sunday, after suffering from ill health. And I am filled with a sort of regret. I am wishing that I could feel that I had lost a friend. I am wishing that he would have been my childhood playmate.
At least, this realization will help me to encourage my children to befriend those who are handicapped. I can't go back.
But with God's help we will all go forward, and maybe somehow we can make a difference in someone's life.
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3 comments:
I think this is one area where you Dad puts all of us to shame. I know it wasn't always so, but he has learned to see the people behind their handicaps. It is a gift that some seem to naturally have, but most do not. you remeber the CP patient I had that the SW assumed was mentally challenged? I wish that I could say I went in expecting a highly educated woman, but sadly that is not the case. at least it didn't take me long to figure it out though.Unlike some I didn't talk loudly and over enunciate everything. I too wish I had felt comfortable to get to know Jonathon better. he had a ready smile, which must be hard for someone who could control almost nothing in his life.
I don't even recall talking to Jason, let alone Jonathan. The children there were something of a mystery to me, and I think I imagined there was only one kid there, not two. The people in the big house at the end of the road were also a big mystery to me. I don't think I ever talked to one of them.
The children at the big farm house went to Catholic schools and their mom didn't usually allow them to play with anyone, but the Marshall kids. They did do the neighborhood Christmas party for seveal years though. Hard to get to know someone when you see them 2-3 hours a year.
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