For all of you who might be wondering:
YES I DO KNOW THERE ARE WAYS TO PREVENT PREGNANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I have attempted to use the only method which seemed morally acceptable.
So please don't ask.
Every time I get the "You know, there are ways to prevent that" comment, it makes me feel even more that the world does not want my baby.
I have not come up with a good response. (One that expresses my true feelings without being mean). I really want to slap these people. Especially the well meaning old ladies.
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8 comments:
I am reminded of a Mother Teresa quote: "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."
As for what to tell people, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder why people lack common sense.
I for one am excited about the fact you are having a new baby.
My comeback was "yes, I know there are ways but God decided to bless me anyway." That may not be my exact quote but you get the idea. Actually it was when I was expecting you that I wa given so much grief. I cannot imagine anything filling the huge void I would have if I hadn't had you, Paul, three lovely children and one? in hiding. Plus all of your friends that have enriched my life. sometimes He blesses us inspite of ourselves. And yes I am very happy. Besides in reference to your comment about managing 4 children. We try to manage our finances and our hectic schedules. We love and try to guide our children (and pray a lot), but I don't think manage fits in anywhere.
There is in fact only one sure way to avoid pregnancy, but I understand (for some mysterious reason) it's not very popular.
Last year I watched a documentary on a family with about 16 kids. Probably every one of those kids will be a credit to the world.
When Monica became pregnant when we were in Italy, most people's reactions were very positive, but in our hostel on Corfu I remember an Australian saying he thought it was too soon after our marriage. I said, "Some things you just can't control", and left it at that. I'm sure he was somewhat puzzled.
"You know there are ways to prevent pregnancy."
"Shhhh, you're hurting the baby."/"Yes, and I used one."/"If I wanted to prevent it entirely, I wouldn't have had sex in the first place."
People can be well-meaning and dense at the same time. I wish I had actually nicer things to say, though.
I think you should slap them. That's what I intend to do when I am pregnant with number 6 and dumb people ask me such questions. Of course, I'm not very charitable.
M.
Actually, Dave, there are two ways to prevent pregnancy completely and I'm not keen on either one. Aside from complete abstinence, there's the removal of the uterus from a woman.
I think I like Loree's "Shhh! you're hurting the baby" response best. I'll have to use that.
Another thing that really bothers me. A certain relative of mine believes that only poor people have a lot of children. So now she thinks we're poor and is really worried about us.
It's not really worth arguing with some people though.
Well, if we want to get technical, there are probably a few more besides the two, but I'd rather not ponder them.
I'll take a guess on the relative--tell her not to worry, maybe one day Paul will finish his correspondence course and finally quit his job at the old mill. But she's probably right: that's what all the electrical engineers dream about in between welfare checks.
I couldn't be happier for you and the family. I wish you the best and we will be praying for you all (you can tell Paul that Tony finally won me over, so his efforts at bringing me to faith were not wasted). In any case, just tell those people that you are happy about the child and only ask for their happiness and prayers in return, not a lecture on preventing marital relations natural conclusion.
BTW, so far, NFP has worked for us, but it has definitely caused problems with increased stress. And, I'm starting to wonder if we're really doing the right thing or the selfish thing.
-Manda.
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